Final Goodbye ..

We sat in silence in the garden where the moon shone its silver upon us through the trees and their leaves. Wind rustled through the flowers and carried with it, a strange sentiment which stirred the deepest and most beautiful feelings of ours. Sounds of silence echoed within and without, resounding with it each sentiment of mine to him, carrying it more vividly then speech could convey or painting could depict.

Pulling my gaze away from the moon which shone with its magnificent beauty upon our hearts, enchanting us, leading us to a world where everything but us and the sentiments flowing through us ceased to exist, I looked into his eyes. Filled with tears of immense joy and at the same time tinted with sadness, they seemed to be the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen , reflecting to me a complete world of handsomeness and love beyond which , everything grew meaningless and every joy futile. His eyes bore through me and my soul and touched every part of my soul as it fringed upon ecstasy soaring into highest dimensions where love dwelt and songs of joy were sung and everything smiled; where dew twinkled and sun shone and calm scented and peace smelled in everything. His gaze lifted my soul of all miseries and to those farthest dimensions where nothing but pure ecstasy and innocence of love exists , untouched and hindered from the vices of times and dust of centuries .

‘Say something please’ he asked of me, looking at me intently, perhaps wanting of me a worded form of whatever my soul experienced. I closed my eyes for a moment, opened them again and looking back into his eyes, I replied ‘Is there a need to? For my soul talks to your soul and becomes one with it in the beautiful garden of love; are there any words I may use to describe the touch of innocent love that froze in me the moment I saw you and is never going to fade through the tread of times and weathers?’

‘You are right. No words can describe how two souls are bound and no symphonies can match the music that flows through them and through the universe the instance they meet procuring from their unison , something so pure as the innocence that rests in the breast of a little child and so delicate as the dew resting upon the flowers and so great as the overwhelming reality of our souls –a reality so unworldly that no mouth can word it without experiencing this heavenly experience and no hands can write them without having dwelt in its shades. I know there’s just no expression for it but just this feeling which kisses our foreheads with its divine and soft touch and makes our soul brink upon eternity’ he spoke so softly that it seemed to be a part of wind’s rustling, yet I found all that he said echoing within my soul and breathing life to the dried parts of my heart.

‘Why it had to end this way?’ I can’t help but say that for my soul suddenly shuddered to the cruel reality that clouded our future. I couldn’t mute the desperation my soul lurked in at the very thought of having to lose him, the thought of not having those eyes looking into mine.

He gave out a long sigh and I could see his wet eyes.

‘Some things are just not in our control!’ he spoke and I could feel the pangs of his soul which echoed through the silent night. And I knew how he felt about it.
Nothing else was left to speak or listen for everything was told and known. The wind knew and the leaves. And the night and everything within it. He gently strokes my hair and the moon climbed from branch to branch and through the leaves showering its silver all over. And the wind whispered here and there, to the flowers and leaves. His hands caressed through my hair and I felt an absolute calm through myself.

We both knew it’s going to be our last meeting. And we both wished we could somehow hold time and freeze it in this moment where we both would be together just like this for eternity and never part as moments would elapse to infinity. I gazed up at the stars who winked at us, and as a broken star fell through the dark at the sky, a silent tear rolled down my cheek. I knew love was to stay, that it will keep ringing through my soul for eternity, always reminding me of him through all journeys and moments. I knew though years might pass and things might happen , though weathers may change and leaves of this garden too might dry , but my love’s going to be all the same, getting stronger with each day , holding my hand around every corner of conscience and through each bend of my life .

Yet, despite the belief that love never dies, I felt sad. The feeling that I won’t have that hand stroking my hair, those eyes looking into me, the thought that he’d be gone and would part from me forever and that we wouldn’t listen the leaves’ rustling or our heart’s whispering together was painful. I held his hand and asked, out of some unknown fear ‘will you remember me?’

His stare made me feel embarrassed for I knew there was no need for the question. ‘How can I forget the love that breathed into my soul a new life? How can the elixir I've drunk from the cup of love fade in me for if it do , I will be but a corpse because its love that breathes and lives within me and wakes me in the mornings with its warm arms and brings sleep to me at dark nights. How can I not remember the flight of my soul from the cage of limitations and restrictions to the skies of eternity where scents of infinity flew with me and how can I forget the moment when love led me to the farthest horizons over the blushes of twilight and through shady dawns and dusty dusks?’ he answered.

We both sat as stars grew weak and moon hid somewhere deep in the sky. The premonition of approaching dawn stirred the birds from their sleep and I could see the dew drops in the hazy whiteness of the dawn resting delicately upon the trees and flowers, waiting for the slightest breeze to trickle them down and into the thirsty soul. Such was my soul, thirsty for the true love in this materialistic world where pure, innocent love was not a commodity and hence unimportant and where even sentiments had a price.

It was the time for the painful goodbye. I tried to disguise my tears as the tears of the dawn but he caught sight of them. Slowly he cleaned them off my eyes and kissed my forehead. ‘No matter where we go, no matter how far we are, I am going to remember that there’s one person out there because of whom this world’s worth living-in. I would know there’s one person out there who truly loves me – loves me apart from the definitions of society and limitations of times. I’d know there’s a person who’ll always be there for me. My soul wreathes in pain and misery of this helplessness and I want to burn these traditions and freeze in the second of love with you forever but I told you…some things are just not in our control. True love lets go – we need not to be close to be together always and so we shall be, no matter how far we are and no matter what time elapses. Love’s like the bird which sings sweetness to hearts and then flies away and carries with it , the sentiment which washes our souls in the waters of purity and so…wherever you go, carry this love with you so that when we meet next, I can see its hint in your eyes. Goodbye my love!’

Shedding my tears on heart then in the cold morning lest he might mind them, I gave him one last look, and looking straight into his eyes, I drank one last time from the cup of love.

‘Be it under the shades of this garden of a similar one or some lonely crossroad or some narrow bend in your life- whenever you’ll find me anywhere along your life, I promise I’ll be all the same – right there for you for true loves truly never dies. It reincarnates itself in a thousand ways, turns into a Zahir and accompanies you until you take death’s flight from this world. So I hope our paths may cross sometime again- I pray that from God!! Keep me in your memories till the very last breathe please. Goodbye, my love … goodbye!

7 love for me ..:

Zoya said...

makes me wonder why ....

Rooj Siddiqui said...

.. could have been the end of my story but I decided to hold on with no promises yet having complete faith in my relation.

Anonymous said...

wow.. It actually made me feel the pain..

Zoya said...

@ nostalgic...well its a relief to know its not yours:)

Anonymous said...

so much is expressed in this post the choice of pic is gud

Rooj Siddiqui said...

@ Zee: Yeah :) *relief*

Rooj Siddiqui said...

@ reeds: Thank you babes <3

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I believe that it's the ordinary that is so distinguished. I am only an amateur who sees the mundane with a twist. Goes around putting titles on self-perceived moments as life goes on by...